Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
