I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
