all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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