i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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