I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I won't apologize to a one balled man
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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