God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
