I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
