Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
