Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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