There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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