when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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