I will die if light touches me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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