I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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