is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
