Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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