You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
