and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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