i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Never underestimate the power of titties
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