U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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