if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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