It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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