this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
