I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
