he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
