At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
