My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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