eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
