I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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