I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
