i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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