I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
