A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
