I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
