People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
