I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
