Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
