chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
you never un-have a 4some
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
