She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
