She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
