Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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