waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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