you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I did not marry a roomba.
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