Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
