Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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