Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
