Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
