Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
