I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
