u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Your dad touched me again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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