Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
