i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
